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The Forward Pass: The Sudden Grand Final Move

The fake news that’s actually fake.

NRL CEO Todd Greenberg announced this Sunday’s grand final will be moved to Suncorp Stadium.

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With no NSW teams, Greenberg wanted to avoid another embarrassingly low crowd in Sydney. The Holden Cup grand final and State Championship will also move to Brisbane.

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Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy is happy with the move, “Half our team are Queenslanders and play their best footy at Lang Park during Origin, so it makes sense. It’ll be a guaranteed sellout.”

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Cowboys coach Paul Green is also excited, “Mate, I’m stoked. Lang Park’s easily the best ground in Australia. It’s an honour to play there and I can’t wait to see all the Cowboys fans there. They should take time off work and make an extra-long weekend of it.”

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While over 82,000 attended Homebush’s ANZ Stadium for the Brisbane v North Qld 2015 grand final, Greenberg says Sydney’s horrible crowds meant the 2017 grand final had to be moved.

“Does Sydney even care about footy anymore? If fans can’t fill the SFS or Homebush for finals involving their teams, they don’t deserve the biggest game of the year. We might even keep the grand final in Brisbane if the crowd’s big enough.”

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only.
Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly

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