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The Forward Pass: What is Stuart’s Unique Punishment?

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Canberra coach Ricky Stuart revealed his unique punishment following the Raiders’ close loss to the Gold Coast last weekend, following nine losses by 10 points or less last season.

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“I was so mad that I cancelled training and we all spent a few days watching replays of Question Time at Parliament House,’ said Stuart. “I wanted a uniquely Canberran punishment. Since the boys are used to the cold, love fireworks, roundabouts and Floriade, this seemed the obvious choice. If we lose to Newcastle, we’ll go to Parliament House for the real thing. No more excuses.”

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To ensure they paid attention, players were forced to write opinion pieces on Question Time and read them out to teammates.

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“Politics and public speaking, I can’t think of anything scarier. Good news is the boys are desperate to play footy again,” said Stuart.

“It was excruciating,” said Canberra captain Jarrod Croker. “A few of the boys fancied themselves as the next Trevor Noah or Jordan Klepper, but they quickly realised how unfunny Question Time is and went numb with boredom. It’ll be worse if we actually have to go to Parliament House for it. It’s great motivation for the next time we have a slim lead with time running out.”

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The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

The Forward Pass is a weekly dose of footy-related satire and general nonsense. The author Andrew Pelechaty has been a freelance sportswriter since 2003 and has a BA and Grad Cert in Editing and Publishing.

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