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The Forward Pass

The Forward Pass: Smith’s Origin Lifeline

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Despite announcing his retirement, Cameron Smith will feature in State of Origin 2018…

…for Channel Nine.

Channel Nine CEO Hugh Marks wasted little time signing Smith.

“We’d be mad not to. Smith’s an amazing player, will offer fascinating tactical insights, and there may be some fireworks with the NSW boys,” Marks said.

Smith will provide special comments from a uniquely Queensland perspective.

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“We’re sick of journos and fans bashing us for our NSW bias, Smithy can blatantly cheer on the Maroons for all I care,” Marks said. “It’ll rile Gus up, which a guaranteed ratings hike. The punters love seeing Gus go off his nut.”

Veteran commentator Ray Warren is looking forward to Smith’s inclusion.

‘Smith’s a good kid. I love watching him play. In the fair dinkum department, I have seen a player that good since I played for the Junee Jaguars in the 1960s. I’ll tell a man that much.”

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Smith can’t wait for his new commentary role.

“The only thing I love more than playing footy is talking about footy. I’ve got plenty of stories about the old days, so I’ll fit right in with the Nine fellas. I can’t be any worse than Michael Clarke, could I? It’s a springboard to my real dream of becoming a referee.”

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Plans to add Johnathan Thurston to Nine’s commentary team was abandoned after Thurston’s infectious laugh kept attracting Batman.

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The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

The Forward Pass is a weekly dose of footy-related satire and general nonsense. The author Andrew Pelechaty has been a freelance sportswriter since 2003 and has a BA and Grad Cert in Editing and Publishing.

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