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The Forward Pass

The Forward Pass: The NRLs New CEO

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Todd Greenberg has quit as NRL CEO, effective immediately, and replaced by Phil ‘Gus’ Gould.

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Gould’s public criticism of Greenberg on 100% Footy sparked the sudden move.

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“I’ve got a pretty thick skin after all these years, but Gus calling me a ‘farce’ was it for me. So I thought, bugger it, if Gus is going to get on his high horse, let him try running the game!” Greenberg said.

Gould immediately accepted the offer, but will have to give up commentating for Nine and his general manager role at Penrith.

“I’ve done it all in footy. Superstar player, premiership-and-Origin-winning coach, expert commentator. Running the game is my final ambition,” Gould said.

The Forward Pass can reveal Gould’s top secret email to the NRL, with ideas to improve the game, including:

  • one ref and and normal video referee.
  • give Channel Nine an extra Saturday night game; put every Penrith game on Nine and give Brisbane as many Thursday and Friday night games as they want.
  • abolish the scrums, they’re a deadset joke. Just quick tap it and get on with the game.
  • make all three Origin’s stand-alone games on Wednesday nights, with a three-round Pacific series on the preceding weekends.
  • any referee that blows more than 20 penalties a game is suspended for two weeks, no arguments. Might teach them a lesson.
  • start an advantage rule: if a defending team concedes a penalty, the attacking team gets a ‘free’ set of six tackles to try and score. If the set ends or there’s an error, go back to the original penalty. At least have a crack at scoring before taking the two, it’s not Rugby Union.
  • no more Golden Point. It’s stupid and adds unnecessary strain on an already long season. If it’s tied at full-time, give them a point each, shake hands and go home. Finals will still operate with five minutes each way extra time.

Veteran caller Ray Warren says Gould will be missed at Nine. “It’s a great day for the greatest game of all, but a sad day personally. I’m gonna miss calling alongside Gus in the commentary box, we’ve had some fair dinkum battles over the years. He talked a lot of gibberish, but I still love him.”

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As for Greenberg, he’s looking for a commentary role with Fox League or Nine.

“We’ll take him,” Warren said. “We’ll finally have someone more boring that Bolts (Ray Hadley).”

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

The Forward Pass is a weekly dose of footy-related satire and general nonsense. The author Andrew Pelechaty has been a freelance sportswriter since 2003 and has a BA and Grad Cert in Editing and Publishing.

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