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The Forward Pass

The Forward Pass: The New NRL Venue

The fake news that’s actually fake.

After the successful Women’s Origin game last Friday night, the NRL finally returns to North Sydney Oval.

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From round 16, North Sydney Oval replaces Sydney’s ANZ Stadium (Homebush) for all regular season NRL games.

“ANZ is designed for our biggest games, and it’s depressing seeing under 10,000 – in an 80,000-seat venue – at a normal NRL game.” NRL CEO Todd Greenberg said, “You’d get the same crowd at Norths and it’d be a better atmosphere. The Women’s Origin proved that.”

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All four Homebush teams (South Sydney Rabbitohs, Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs, Parramatta Eels and Wests Tigers) will play home games at North Sydney Oval, with ANZ Stadium only used for NRL finals, the grand final, Origin and Tests.

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Parramatta coach Brad Arthur is relieved. “ANZ is a ghost town. It’s so quiet our players can hear the birds laughing at them.”

North Sydney CEO Greg Florimo sees an opportunity. “It’s perfect, get regular footy back at North Sydney Oval, get the fans excited, then bring the Bears back.”

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Phil Gould is looking forward to returning to suburban footy. “Imagine a packed North Sydney Oval for a Rabbitohs v Tigers game on a Sunday afternoon, live and free on Nine. It’ll be amazing. Rabs, Joey and I can talk about the good old days and laugh as Freddy freezes on the sideline. Now that’s real footy.”

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The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

 

The Forward Pass is a weekly dose of footy-related satire and general nonsense. The author Andrew Pelechaty has been a freelance sportswriter since 2003 and has a BA and Grad Cert in Editing and Publishing.

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