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The Forward Pass

The Forward Pass: Stuart’s plan

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Canberra coach Ricky Stuart wants the NRL to reduce games to 70 minutes.

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Stuart’s proposal is to divide games into two 35-minute halves for player welfare – and nothing to do with Canberra losing seven games by eight points or less this season, including surrendering 16-0 and 22-12 leads against Brisbane at Lang Park.

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“I watched the Women’s Origin game, and the shorter game produced much better footy than the NRL. It was very entertaining. If you cut the games by 10 minutes, injuries will go down, fans can get home earlier, broadcasters can put in more ads and the Bunker has more time to forensically analyse replays until we’re all sick of it,”  Stuart said. “If a team plays 30 games a season, it saves 300 minutes, it really adds up. I can’t see any downsides.”

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NRL CEO Todd Greenberg has rubbished Stuart’s idea. “Good try Sticky, just because your Raiders can’t close out games doesn’t mean we’ll change the rules for everyone. Maybe if it was Cameron Smith’s idea, we’d look into it…”

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“Ok ok, you got me, this idea was more about helping my boys – who try really really hard – than the rest of the comp,” Stuart said. “If Greenberg won’t listen to me, how about just give teams a point if they lead at 70 minutes? I’m sick of making the same old excuses.”

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

 

The Forward Pass is a weekly dose of footy-related satire and general nonsense. The author Andrew Pelechaty has been a freelance sportswriter since 2003 and has a BA and Grad Cert in Editing and Publishing.

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