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The Forward Pass: The Fallout Continues

The fake news that’s actually fake.

The fallout from the farcical Cronulla v Canberra game continues, with the NRL wiping the match from the records.

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“It’s been a tough few days,” NRL CEO Todd Greenberg said. “People are angrier than usual, so rather than take responsibility, we’re going to pretend it never happened.”

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The game goes down as a 0-0 draw, with Cronulla and Canberra receiving one point each. Cronulla (25 points, +42) are in fifth, while Canberra (19 points, +62) stay in ninth, five points shy of the eighth-placed Brisbane Broncos. While the game counts towards overall records, no individual stats are recorded.

“One extra point won’t help our final chances much, but it’s better than nothing.” Canberra coach Ricky Stuart said.

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Cronulla coach Shane Flanagan isn’t happy. “This is typical of the NRL! They’re too scared to take real action, so they choose the easy option. If losing that extra point costs us a top four spot, I’m going to give Greenburg the frowning of a lifetime.

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“Officially, there will be an asterix beside the game, explaining ‘draw declared due to too much complaining from fans and coaches,'” NRL historian David Middleton said.

“Now let’s move to more important issues,” Greenburg said. “Like Gareth Widdop starting his Eminem tribute act.”

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The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly

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