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The Forward Pass: Hook’s New Club

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Sacked Penrith coach Anthony ‘Hook’ Griffin has found a new club.

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Canberra.

Griffin will support Ricky Stuart as co-coach for the rest of 2018 and 2019.

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“I’m bloody out of answers this season,” Stuart said. “Hook’s Panthers have beaten us by bugger-all in our last four games. If we can’t beat them, we may as well steal their coach.”

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Griffin is grateful for the opportunity. “Sticky and I will try some things and help the Green Machine play more than 70 minutes a game. It’ll be fun.”

Stuart denies that Griffin will eventually take over the head coaching role.

“Mate, Hook and I are partners. He’s a good fella, an experienced coach and I’m giving him a hand. We’ll finish off 2018 and put our heads together for a better 2019. Our long-suffering fans deserve it.”

One of Griffin’s new roles will be fronting post-match press conferences.

“I’m sick of going to those stupid things. Punters complain that I whinge too much about the refs or our latest fadeout. Hook’s happy to face the media,” Stuart said.

Stuart and Griffin will even sit on the sideline together during Canberra’s next game against Wests Tigers at Bruce next Sunday.

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“I took Hook shopping today, let him pick out his own plastic chair. He loves it, and he’s already got a decent butt groove in it,” Stuart said.

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly

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