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The Forward Pass

The Forward Pass: A Manly Legend Returns

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Manly veteran Paul ‘Fatty’ Vautin will coach the Sea Eagles from 2019.

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Just like Queensland in 1995, Fatty will swoop in to save his beloved club after Trent Barrett announced he was leaving.

“The Fat loves his Sea Eagles, so I put my hand up straight away,” Vautin said.

Vautin isn’t worried that his lack of coaching experience will hurt.

“Mate, what Manly need someone who cares about the Sea Eagles, a former premiership winner with passion and incredible red hair. I’ll get the fans back to Brooky and make the mighty Sea Eagles as powerful as they were in the mid-nineties. I’ll even make DCE likeable.”

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Vautin has started with a special motivational video, featuring a number of Manly’s greats.

“There myself, Bozo, Beaver, Tooves, Mal Reilly, Cliffy Lyons, Graham Eadie, Dessy etc. I got the great man Rabbits (Ray Warren) to narrate it for extra drama.”

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Barrett is nonplussed about Vautin’s appointment. “Good luck to Fatty. Manly are a rabble, so maybe his unconventional methods will work. Not my problem anymore. I’m after a cushy Fox Sports desk gig now.”

Vautin won’t be lost to the Channel Nine commentary box, as he’ll be miked up during Manly games.

“It’ll be good fun. I’ll trade banter with the boys, talk up the game, even chuck in a few cheeky head wobbles like old times.”

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly

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