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The Forward Pass: Bennett’s Demand

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Brisbane coach Wayne Bennett has demanded the NRL reinstate the Broncos’ night-time monopoly.

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”After an exhaustive season review, I’ve discovered why we had such a bad year. Too many day games. Our boys had to play four whole day games, and lost two of them. Take away those losses and we’re minor premiers,” Bennett said. “We played all night games last year, finished third and made the prelim final. This year we struggled into the eight, were forced to play a daytime final and got flogged.”

Channel Nine CEO Hugh Marks backed up Bennett’s comments. “The lack of Broncos games on prime time Thursday and Friday night cost us so much money. I had to sell one of my yachts to compensate for our lost profits. I blame the NRL for that.”

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Marks and Bennett are talking to the NRL to give the Broncos a lifetime hold on Thursday and Friday nights from 2019.

”The NRL took all our Broncos games away for a ‘fairer’ draw. If you have every Broncos game on a Thursday and/or Friday, the other 15 teams will get at least one prime time game, even the ones we don’t care about, like the Warriors,” Marks said.

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NRL CEO Todd Greenberg was reluctant at first, then quickly swayed by the offer to host a Sale of the Century reboot when he finishes at the NRL.

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”As long as I get to do my Tony Barber impression at 7pm weeknights, and pick my own co-host, then the Broncos can have all the night games forever,” Greenberg said.

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly

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