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The Forward Pass

The Forward Pass: Nine’s Unique Finals Coverage

The fake news that’s actually fake.

Channel Nine unveiled their unique telecast plans for Saturday night’s Sydney Roosters v North Qld Preliminary Final.

Nine will axe their usual two hour pre-game show for an exclusive documentary: From Eastern Suburbs to Sydney: A Comprehensive Roosters History, hosted by former Roosters coach Phil ‘Gus’ Gould and former Roosters captain Brad ‘Freddy’ Fittler.

Embed from Getty Images

Embed from Getty Images

After the documentary, Gus and Freddy move to the Sydney Football Stadium sidelines for the telecast.

“They’ll be screaming ‘Go Roosters’ for 80 minutes, so the players can hear,” said Ray Warren. ‘We’ll even decorate the old card table in red, white and blue to make it really obvious.”

“Footy’s struggling in Sydney, so we need the Roosters to win. We can’t have another non-NSW grand final or – heaven forbid – another all-Queensland grand final!” said Nine CEO Hugh Marks.

Queensland commentators Paul Vautin and Darren Lockyer will be rested for the game, calling the Melbourne v Brisbane match instead.

To help the Roosters even further, Nine will plant Ray Hadley in the Bunker as a ‘colour commentator’ on tight decisions.

Embed from Getty Images

“If Bolts wants to keep calling Thursday night footy, he’ll know what he needs to do,” said Marks.

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only.
Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly


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