The fake news that’s actually fake.
With the 2024 season almost here, it’s time for The Forward Pass to deliver their (no-so serious) predictions. Will any of these come true?
THE BRONCOS GO BACK TO THE FUTURE
Looking to capitalise on their first grand final in a decade, the Broncos will embrace their heritage in 2024.
Firstly, they will bring back the gold jersey worn from the late 80s to mid 90s (with their current white away jersey staying the same).
Secondly, they will bring back their original logo (used from 1988-1999). Though it will be on both sleeves, with their current logo remaining on the chest.
Thirdly, Suncorp Stadium will be renamed Suncorp’s Lang Park, striking a balance between the Milton stadium’s traditional name and the long-running naming rights sponsor.
A Broncos spokesperson hopes the changes will lure fans towards the resurgent Broncos side.
“While the grand final loss was painful, this team is on the verge of a special run. It makes sense to celebrate our past as we look forward to a hopefully dominant future.”
THE DOLPHINS FINALLY FIND THEIR IDENTITY
After a lot of criticism over the ‘The’ branding, the Dolphins have finally settled on a proper geographical name.
Inspired by the AFL’s Greater Western Sydney Giants, the Dolphins will be called the Greater Queensland Dolphins from 2024 (or GQD for short).
“We’ve been trying to find a name that represents how far and wide we’re trying to reach the Sunshine State,” said a Dolphins spokesperson. “We had a meeting after the season ended and someone said, ‘we eventually want to be the greatest Queensland NRL team’. Then it clicked: Greater Queensland! It’s perfect.”
The new name includes a logo change, with the current Dolphins logo to be placed inside a white map of Queensland.
Embed from Getty ImagesGOLDEN POINT AXED
After over 20 years, Golden Point is no more. From 2024, regular season games tied at full-time will be a draw. Though the extra time/GP format remains for the NRL finals.
NRL CEO Andrew Abdo explained the change was about player welfare.
“It’s a long season, and that extra time can add up. There’s nothing wrong with a hard-fought draw after 80 minutes. And the extra point could be the difference between teams finishing top four or even making the eight.”
While Channel Nine and Fox Sports complained about the change, Abdo found a way to please them.
“Both Nine and Fox can use the draw to promote their favourite sponsors. It can be the Bundy Rum Draw, the Red Rooster Draw, the Chemist Warehouse Draw, the VB Draw. Whatever they want to call it.”
Embed from Getty ImagesTHE BALMAIN TIGERS JOIN THE NSW CUP
Rejoice, Balmain fans: your Tigers are back!
With the Western Suburbs Magpies already having a stand-alone NSW Cup side, Balmain will join them in 2024, bringing the Cup sides up to an even 14.
The Tigers will wear their traditional orange and black jersey, bring their traditional logo back, and play all home games at Leichhardt Oval.
Though one Wests Tigers spokesperson think it’s a cynical ploy to get rid of them.
“This isn’t about just bringing the Balmain Tigers back. It’s about buttering up old school Balmain fans before the NRL moves the Wests Tigers to Perth, Adelaide, or punts us completely!”
Embed from Getty ImagesTHE NEW NRL COMPETITION
The NRL will launch an exciting new indoor rugby league competition: the NRL Indoor Sevens.
The rules include:
- seven players per side (and five reserves with unlimited interchange).
- 2 x 15-minute halves and a 5 minute half-time break.
- A 50-metre field, surrounded by netting (like in indoor cricket).
- Six tackle sets – instead of a sixth tackle kick, the attacking team can pass the ball backward or forward into the side nets, where the ball becomes live, and both sides can contest it.
- No kick-offs: restarts after a try – or the start of a half – will be a tap from the attacking team at the 25-metre line.
- No scrums: the non-offending team will tap restart after an error.
- Four points for a try and a 10 metre drop goal attempt (for an extra two points) adjacent to where the try was scored.
There will be 18 teams in the NRLI7 – all 17 NRL teams and a Perth team. There will be 17 rounds with nine games every Saturday and Sunday at indoor venues around New South Wales, Queensland, the ACT, Victoria, and New Zealand. Like the NRL, there will be two points for a win and one for a draw (no Golden Point). The top eight teams will play off on the weekend of the NRL Grand Final, with the minor premiership state hosting the Finals Weekend.
A spokesperson for the NRLI7 says the new competition is designed to capitalise on the popularity of social indoor sports and the slow death of Nines football.
“Unlike the NRL Nines, where some coaches didn’t want to compromise their season for a ‘Mickey Mouse’ tournament, the NRLI7 features up-and-coming players or veterans looking to stay involved in the game. The last tackle netting option should be fun: imagine late in a game, with a team chasing points flinging the ball into the net as hard as possible to regain possession and maybe score a late try? It’s going to be a genuine wildcard, especially when teams learn to use it to their advantage.”
Embed from Getty ImagesThe Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass
