Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy has requested the NRL move all the Storm’s away games to Suncorp Stadium from 2018.
‘The boys love Lang Park, how many other teams constantly smash the Broncos on their home ground? We’d rather play our away games in sunny Brisbane than some boring Sydney venue in front of five people or freeze our butts off in Canberra or Auckland. Don’t worry Storm fans, we’ll still play home games in Melbourne.’
NRL CEO Todd Greenberg was excited by Bellamy’s suggestion.
‘This could solve the poor crowd numbers. With Melbourne’s Queensland connections, they’ll easily pull 30,000 a game at Suncorp. There’ll be 12 more games in Brisbane, regular Broncos and Storm double headers and two Broncos v Storm games at Suncorp – you’ll get about 90,000 there combined,’ said Greenberg, slightly dazed by the dollar signs spinning in his eyes.
An anonymous official from a popular Sydney club criticised Bellamy’s suggestion, ‘This is so typical of the NRL. They only care about what makes Queensland happy. It’s like almost 90 years of the NSWRL never happened!’
Greenberg was unfazed by the criticism, ‘We’ll give the other fourteen clubs a huge bonus for giving up their home game against the Storm. Loyalty to fans means nothing when money’s involved.’
The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only.
