The fake news that’s actually fake.

Chastened by the criticism over their “Simply the Best” season launch ad, the NRL have signed Jimmy Barnes to a lifetime contract.

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“We loved Barnsey’s version of ‘Simply the Best’ in the Fox League ad, so we thought we’d sign him up for good, and make sure the AFL doesn’t get their hands on him again.”

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The contract states that Barnes will take part in all NRL marketing campaigns from 2020 onwards, and perform before the three State of Origin games and the grand final.

“Barnsey will do a 20-minute set before the big games; all the standards, ‘Working Class Man’, ‘Khe Sanh’, ‘No Second Prize’, so on and so forth. After the games, he’ll do a special 30-minute concert which will be streamed exclusively on NRL.com,” added Greenberg. “I know Barnsey’s a busy man, but we’ll fly him in and out in a private jet if we have to. No expense will be spared to give footy fans an icon of Australian rock.”

AFL CEO Gillon McLachlan has criticised the move.

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“This is typical of the NRL. It was only a few years ago they trotted out all the Voice contestants during Origin in a cynical cross-promotion stunt with Channel Nine. Now they’re so obsessed with ‘nostalgia’ that they’re ignoring up-and-coming local talent to trot out some old rocker to play songs everyone’s heard a million times before. At least we give our fans quality international entertainment, like the Black Eyed Peas. Weren’t they fantastic?”

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The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

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Andrew Pelechaty
Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly

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