The fake news that’s actually fake.

Frustrated Canberra Raiders coach Ricky Stuart will pull a shock selection move before his side’s trip to Townsville this Saturday night against North Queensland (April 24): substituting his entire first grade line-up for Canberra’s NSW Cup team.

“I can cop losing to Penrith, as they’re genuinely good footy team, but losing to Parra at Bruce is unacceptable!” said Stuart. “I need to send a strong message that our performance wasn’t good enough, and this seems like the best way. We can’t even blame Ben Cummins for this loss; that’s how bad we were!”

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With the Raiders’ Knock-On Effect NSW Cup side enjoying a round seven bye, Stuart says it’s the perfect time to give all of them a shot at first grade.

“The NSW Cup boys have had three good wins (against Western Suburbs, Newtown, and Parramatta) and sit in the top four, so let’s reward them all with some first grade footy, from 1-17. If nothing else, you know they’ll have a real crack.”

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While disappointed, Raiders NRL captain Jarrod Croker is determined to use the weekend off wisely.

“The boys are filthy at the moment, but we’ll reviews some past games, rip in at training, and get ready to play Souths in round eight.”

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However, Stuart warned that a return to first grade wasn’t guaranteed.

“If the NSW Cup boys play well enough, then they’ll keep their NRL spot: I don’t care who they’re keeping out.”

The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass

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Andrew Pelechaty
Deputy Sports Editor for the Australian Times Weekly