Rugby League Satire

The NRL has dumped the controversial 6pm Friday game for 2018. Following a small crowd at the SCG between Souths and St. George-Illawarra last Friday night (12,312), NRL CEO Todd Greenberg finally admitted the timeslot was dead. http://gty.im/826318806 'We'll take the blame...

The NZ Warriors are expelled from the 2018 NRL Premiership. The final straw was the Warriors' home loss to Cronulla in Round 21, their fourth straight defeat. They've won just one game in Australia this season and haven't made the...

NRL CEO Todd Greenberg announced a surprise new rule for the rest of 2017. 'Tackle Billy Slater and it's an automatic penalty.' "The Slater Rule" is a reaction to Sia Soliola's five-week suspension. 'Everyone loves Billy the Kid. He's the bushy jockey...

The Forward Pass has leaked a stunning letter from NRL Referees boss Tony Archer. "Dear coach of <insert team affected>, I, Tony Archer, am sorry for the terrible refereeing/Bunker error that cost your team victory this weekend. I've already punished <insert referee/s who...

Axed by the Brisbane Broncos, Sam Thaiday is keen to start a new chapter...as an actor. 'You've all seen the NRMA ads, I'm easily the best actor in the NRL, if not Australia. I've had a great footy career, now...

NRL CEO Todd Greenberg has revealed the plan to combat poor Sydney crowds. 'For all regular season Sydney games, we're going to lock fans out and sell horribly overpriced tickets and club memberships to stupidly rich businessmen, with the biggest...

Anthony Mundine's tweet about wanting to coach NSW in 2018 only revealed part of his plan. 'Brah, I'll captain-coach the Blues, sack all the clowns and take on Queensland by myself.' While one player against 13 seems impossible, Mundine is...

Phil "Gus" Gould is leaving the Channel Nine commentary team to coach the NSW Blues. http://gty.im/99301501 'I'm the greatest Origin coach ever, so it's my responsibility to rebuild for 2018 after this year's loss,' said Gus. 'A successful Origin team is...

Controversial tennis player Bernard Tomic is now a Gold Coast Titan. Tomic planned the move with best mate Jarryd Hayne. 'I was partying with the Hayne Playne and said I was bored with tennis, there's no challenge anymore. The Planester started digging...

Melbourne coach Craig Bellamy has requested the NRL move all the Storm's away games to Suncorp Stadium from 2018. 'The boys love Lang Park, how many other teams constantly smash the Broncos on their home ground? We'd rather play our...

Channel Nine have embraced their Saturday night coverage of NRL rounds 21-26, on one condition. Keep Ray "Bolts" Hadley away from the commentary box. While Nine are obligated to let Bolts commentate some Thursday and Friday games, legendary caller Ray Warren...

The Brisbane Broncos have announced a radical ownership plan that'll revolutionise the NRL. Channel Nine will own the Broncos from 2018, rebranding them as the "Channel Nine Broncos". The move was inspired by Nine broadcasting five of the last six Broncos games...

Andrew Johns will play for NSW in State of Origin III. Blues coach Laurie Daley called Johns after the eight Immortal's epic spray on Channel Nine after Origin II. ‘Loz said, “If you think we're such a dumb team, stick on...

Originally posted at: http://www.thegurgler.com/2015/04/04/pointless-posers-who-is-the-best-nrl-mascot/ Every now and again The Gurgler’s interest is sparked into a really pointless thought, a question that no one really needs the answer to and so on. We tried it with the G20 in November to find out the...