The Forward Pass: NRL announces grand final entertainment
The fake news that’s actually fake.
Former Oasis frontman Liam Gallagher is the NRL’s 2017 grand final entertainment.
Desperate to avoid last year’s Richie Sambora trainwreck, Gallagher was an early pick for NRL CEO Todd Greenberg.
“Liam is perfect, he was an iconic rock and/or roll frontman for one the biggest bands of the nineties that Triple M plays and he has a new album to promote,‘ said Greenberg.
Greenberg has brushed criticism about not picking an Australian band for the grand final, ‘The only Aussie band worthy of such a big stage is the mighty Cold Chisel. If I had my way, we’d wheel them out every year, but they’re busy, so too bad.’
After some controversial trips to Australia, Gallagher is keen to redeem himself and rock Homebush before the grand final featuring Melbourne and some other team.
Unfortunately, due to his strong Manchester accent and too many swear words, Gallagher’s actual quotes are unprintable, but The Forward Pass is certain he’s excited about the grand final gig.
Greenberg has personally picked the setlist to ensure everyone has a safe evening free from social media backlash, ‘He’ll start with the contractually-obligated “Wall of Glass” to plug the new album, then into “Rock and Roll Star” from Definitely Maybe, “Wonderwall”, “Some Might Say” and “Champagne Supernova” from (What’s the Story) Morning Glory? Liam wanted to play stuff from the other Oasis albums, but I can’t take that risk.’
Human headline Jarryd Hayne has offered to play guitar and sing backing vocals in Gallagher’s band, ensuring he’s still the centre of attention on the game’s biggest night.
‘I might even talk to Liam about my new dream to play for Man City in the EPL,’ said Hayne.
The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only.
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