The fake news that’s actually fake.
The NRL will introduce a second Queensland team as early as 2021, with the Melbourne Storm relocating.
Forced to move from Victoria due to COVID-19, the Storm have been playing home games at Sunshine Coast Stadium. The club loves it so much, they’ve agreed to move there permanently.
“The boys love the Sunny Coast,” said Storm coach Craig Bellamy. “The winters are a million times warmer than bloody Melbourne, and the locals actually like rugby league. We’re virtually the fourth Queensland team anyway, so may as well make it official.”
The Storm will align with the Sunshine Coast Falcons Queensland Intrust Super Cup club, with the Falcons’ gold and black becoming more prominent on the new jersey (along with the Storm’s traditional purple and navy). The logo will be slightly changed, with ‘Sunshine Coast’ replacing ‘Melbourne’, and a yellow V instead of a purple one.
Storm fans who buy or renew a 2021 membership package can access heavily discounted travel and accommodation deals for Sunshine Coast home games.
With the Brisbane Broncos struggling, the chairman of the Australian Rugby League Commission Peter V’landys said the timing is right for a second Queensland team.
“On reflection, bringing the Crushers in during the mid-90s was bad timing: the Broncos were at their peak, Lang Park wasn’t the behemoth stadium it is now, and Super League was on the horizon. Now, the Broncos are in a hole, and the Sunshine Coast Storm will give frustrated Queenslanders a new team to support and will start winning straight away. Plus, there’ll now be two Brisbane v Melbourne derbies a year at Lang Park.”
V’landys conceded that the Melbourne experiment was never going to work, despite the Storm’s success.
“Have you been to Melbourne? A Collingwood player sneezes down there and it leads the 6pm news. We never had a chance.”
As part of the Storm’s move, all 16 NRL clubs (including the Storm) will play one home game at AAMI Park from next season, and will be compensated for their sacrifice. Plus, the MCG will host a neutral Origin game every two years, and occasional Test matches.
‘It’s a pretty sweet deal for Melburnians,” said V’landys. “They now get 16 games at AAMI instead of 12, with fans of every team getting involved.”
The Forward Pass is a fictional and deliberately ridiculous look at the NRL. References to real people is for satirical purposes only. Check it out on Twitter @thefwdpass